Top 10 Parent-centric Resolutions I Will Break in 2016

Thursday, December 31, 2015

By: Matt Norman

Did you have time to relax a bit after Christmas? Of course you didn’t! You’re a parent. Regardless, tonight is another big night — It’s New Year’s Eve. I know we’re all excited to go to bed tonight at 9:30pm, well before the ball drops because, honestly, what parent can make it to midnight? 

Ringing in the New Year means it’s time to make those pesky resolutions. If you’re like me, however, you’re not very good at keeping the promises you make to yourself on January 1st. In the spirit of honesty, here are my Top 10 Parent-centric Resolutions I Will Break in 2016.

  1. Go to bed at a decent hour. I know I’m going to watch one more DVRed episode of "Fixer Upper,” so I won’t even pretend I’ll be in bed before I’m overtired and cranky.
  2. Go on more dates with my spouse. Money spent on a movie + dinner + babysitter = Let’s just watch another episode of "Fixer Upper.”
  3. Don’t over-schedule my children’s itineraries. I know I’m not going to make them choose between ballet, soccer, swimming, gymnastics, volleyball, watercolor painting, large game hunting, woodworking, and whatever else. They need to be enriched! There are so many classes and camps to attend! 
  4. Less pizza delivery, more home-cooked meals. Yeah right. I don’t think I even need to expand on this one.
  5. Say "yes” more often. Sorry, I’m just not going to let my kids wade through rain gutter runoff more than, oh, let’s say three times this year. Even if they beg.
  6. Get the kids involved in doing chores. I know I’m going to end the day by picking up toys and shredded cheese and goldfish without help before I collapse to watch a few episodes of "Fixer Upper.” Sometimes it’s just easier that way.
  7. Make my kids brush their teeth more than a few times per week. Does anyone know a good dentist for kids? Asking for a friend.
  8. Cut down the amount of screen time for everyone. Look, Mickey Mouse is a GREAT short-term babysitter if I need to take a shower. He’s friendly, the kids like him, and he doesn’t cost me any money.
  9. Stop underestimating my abilities as a parent. Underestimating ourselves is pretty natural. It’s going to happen. I will try, in those darkest parenting moments, to remember that I’m capable and that I’m pretty good at raising these little humans.
  10.  Watch less "Fixer Upper.” Man, I love that show. 

Let’s raise a glass to the prospect of another great year in 2016. Now everyone go to bed before it’s too late. The kids will be up soon. Happy New Year!

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